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Category: Self-care

You Deserve The Best of The Best

“The best things in life are free. The second best things, are very expensive.”
– Coco Chanel

It breaks my 💜 when I hear a woman’s resistance to buying, admiring, manifesting, and enjoying luxury items and experiences.

This resistance comes from a lack of self-worth coupled with false beliefs that were learned in childhood or from someone significant in our lives. People telling you that “you are high maintenance” or “all you care about is money,” when you express your desires for nice things and experiences, can really mess with your head. I get it. A significant ex-boyfriend of mine really hated my love and appreciation for luxury. He put me down constantly for it. After awhile I started to believe him.

After working with a therapist and a great mentor, I learned he was just projecting his own lack of self-worth, insecurities, and money noise onto me.

Someone who’s self-worth is high, will encourage you to treat yourself, and will love that you are manifesting your dreams for first class travel, a @chanelofficial bag, your dream home, @louboutinworld 👠, or a weekly massage. Someone who is threatened by your vision and desires (cuz of their own shit) will put you down, try to instill fear in you around $$$, and even insult your character.

Those are people you need to disconnect from in order to thrive. You deserve the best of the best. Even if you can’t yet afford it, you can still manifest it. Put it on your vision board, follow luxury accounts on IG, go try on that pair of shoes, plan that trip on paper, so WHEN you have the funds, you are ready to pull the trigger.

Do something several times every week that is luxurious. A beautiful bubble bath with candles, mani/pedi, pour a glass of champagne 🥂 and sit in the sun and read, treat yourself to a fancy lunch… When self-defeating thoughts come up like “you really should be doing chores,” or “I shouldn’t be spending money on this,” remind yourself that to create a luxurious life, you must be comfortable with luxury. You must welcome it and relish in it. Otherwise you will subconsciously continue to push everything luxurious away.

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Envision A Life You Love

What would your life feel and look like, if you were doing what you love and making great money from it?

It feels freeing, exhilarating, fun, dreamy, empowering, and scary too. When we finally get what we prayed for, asked for, worked for, and manifested, it can seem too good to be true. Doubts can creep in like, “how long can this really last for?” “I made thousands for a couple of months, but will I continue to?”

These doubts are normal. It’s our own egos way of trying to protect us and keep us safe. To our ego, doing something different is risky and therefore potentially dangerous, even when the results are awesome. How many of you have lost weight or got more fit, only to doubt how long you will really keep it off? Even though you feel better than ever, it’s new to your ego, therefore it’s on guard to protect you.

Don’t tell that ego driver voice to STFU! That doesn’t work (I’ve tried that many times). Gently and lovingly, thank that voice for its concern and wanting to protect you. Let it know, this is a good change and that you are safe, secure, and supported.

At first, you will need to comfort the ego numerous times a day (much like a sensitive overtired toddler), over time the voice will go from a scream to a whisper, to nothing at all on that subject (the ego will move onto something new you’re doing…annoying but true).

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Change Is Necessary For Growth

We so often want to feel and look differently. We want to have more money, more fun, a better job, a different career, a better partner…BUT what have you done differently to get a different outcome?

“Tiffany I started eating better this week;” “I signed up for your ProjectME mentorship;” “I started saving money two months ago.” I hear these painful statements all week long. Taking new action and changing your ways is exactly what must happen to get a different result. However, so is long-term consistency.

Just because you ate healthy all week or even all month, won’t reverse diabetes or even change your dress size. Nor will saying money for a few months get you out of debt. These changes in behavior and habits need to be long-term, lifetime changes, to reap the results.

There are a lot of “get results fast” 💩 marketing campaigns out there, targeting the millions of people who want to undo years of self-limiting behaviors/habits in 30 days. THEY DON’T WORK. They just make people who sell it, a shit-ton of money, while leaving you defeated.

If you want massive results, then massive change is required. You can build up to that, versus shocking your system and your life. I would rather see you taking small steps every day towards new self-empowering behavior; this has a much higher chance of you sticking with it and reaching your goals.

Patience my loves. Transformation takes time + consistency. It’s totally worth it!

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Stop Judging Your Path

STOP ✋ 🛑

PLEASE STOP judging your financial status, your career, your business, your current lifestyle, based on what you see on social media or on people who make #allthethings sound easy.

All of us are on a unique path. A path that is specially designed for us by the Universe, and our ability to surrender and be open to direction. YES, some peoples’ journeys are filled with less trauma and drama than others…while some have so much it’s beyond comprehension.

I was abused for most of my childhood and teens. I was raped by someone I knew. I’ve been sexually assaulted several times in the workplace. I lost 3/4 of my net worth that I worked my ass off to create and save. I could go on and on. My point is, my path was filled with more than enough roadblocks, and I could have easily set back, given up, and played the victim for life (people would have totally understood). God, the Universe, my Angels had a different plan that I couldn’t always see. I was meant to go through all of that shit, so I could show up for you and me TODAY.

When you catch yourself wishing that your path, your process was as glamours, easy, fun, and sexy as “ms boss babe x, y z” I want you to remember two things:

1️⃣ They are full of shit and only showing you the highlight reel, so unfollow them and go follow inspiring-empowering women who share it all @thechampagnediet,@badassbusinessbabe,@leanne.oaten, and of course ME 🤗@projectme_with_tiffany.

2️⃣Your journey is what it’s supposed to be. If mine was all 🌈 and 🦋, there would be no ProjectME; I wouldn’t spend hours of my time each week mentoring abused women for free; I wouldn’t have the compassion and awareness to educate and empower women to be financially wealthy and free; most importantly I wouldn’t be me.

Wishing you wealth, health, and worth always.

💜, Tiffany

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Wisdom on Wealth and Worth

I always strive to bring you wisdom on wealth and worth. Wisdom doesn’t just come from the successes I’ve had, it also comes from all of the mistakes I’ve made both in life and throughout my career.

This week is about the power of first impressions and perceptions. Yes, I now own a lot of nice things and I have a lot of luxury bags, sunglasses, shoes, etc… Even when I was making 75k/year, I didn’t buy these luxury items as I saw them as a waste of money, based on my income level. That all changed one month when I was around 26 years old.

I was working in pharmaceutical sales, and a new counterpart got hired on my team. She was 10-years older than me and had great success. I admired her effortless sales style and her experience. She asked me about a month after we met, “Why do you carry around a low-end, worn-out work bag 💼?” I said, “ because it works and fits all of my stuff.” She kindly nodded in a sisterly way and said, “Let me give you a piece of advice….when people see you coming into these high-end offices with a ratty looking bag and Payless shoes, it undermines the quality of what you are selling and your authority on it.”

At that age, I didn’t quite get what she was saying, but I agreed to her experiment to go buy a designer bag (@coach was the IT bag back then) and some heels made of something other than plastic and rubber 😝. SO I DID. After about 2 weeks of me carrying around what felt like a rare diamond, and wearing shoes that didn’t make my feet sweat and blister, an amazing shift occurred.

My senior counterpart saw me at a doctors office (client), and asked me if I noticed anything different. I DID! Gatekeepers started letting me back to speak with the doctors, and I even got selected as a team leader at the company. Of course it’s not like I bought magic accessories, by elevating my first impression and perception, I gave off a look, energy and feel of confidence and success.

We all assess people when we meet them. Review what your look, your attire, your accessories, your hairstyle say about you. Adjust those things to match where you want to be in your career versus where you are at now.

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Don’t Waste Your Mind!

We all know what wasting money means, but what does wasting your mind mean?

It means, don’t spend mental energy on people, places, things, or situations that don’t serve your greatest good. The more we are distracted in negativity, the less we are able to focus on our goals.

One way I can tell if I’m veering off course is if I feel drained, fatigued, bored, or zombie-like.

For me, that’s a BIG sign that I’m “wasting my mind” on something or someone that doesn’t serve me. Sometimes it’s easy to remove from my life, other times I need to create a plan of action to disconnect. Like if a client isn’t right for me, or if I signed a contract to speak somewhere, that I later realize doesn’t vibe.

So first be aware of what is draining you, then remove it and/or make an action plan to remove it ASAP. After all, “the mind is a terrible thing to waste”.

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Stop Saying This Word!

Can you guess which 5-letter word I feel is both misused and overused by women!
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S O R R Y- each time I hear a woman who is going around me at the grocery store (and not even close to touching me-God forbid) say, “oh so sorry,” in a meek, submissive voice, I CRINGE 🤨. When a woman comes up to meet me or ask me a question after I give a speech, and she says, “I’m so sorry to bother you but….” my heart sinks a little.
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I now speak back to the women and say, “ no need to be sorry, this is part of my job and I’m here to meet people and answer their questions.” Or if I’m feeling super sassy I say, “ why are you sorry (in a kind way)?” I’ve not ever had one woman be able to answer that question.
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Part of why this unnecessary apologizing affects me so much is I used to do it in my personal life all the time. I even apologized when I ran into a chair at my house! No, I’m not kidding. In my professional life, I actually had some self-confidence and respect, but in my personal life, I was that “sorry” girl. I didn’t want to bother, annoy, or interrupt anyone’s life with my needs or even curiosity. My self-worth was so low, I didn’t feel worthy of having my needs met, asking for help, or even a shoulder to cry on.
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Fast forward a mere 3 years, and I am no longer that girl. I am an empowered woman who is worthy of others time, attention, money, and love. So if you are that “sorry” person, do your best to catch yourself. You are just as worthy as I am, whether you are rich, poor, depressed, sick, happy, overweight, underweight, a trauma survivor (#metoo)… Instead of saying a weak “sorry,” replace it with an empowered “excuse me” or “pardon me” or better yet NONE OF IT, unless of course, you step on someone’s foot or something.
…
If you don’t think you are worthy, how can you expect others to see your worth?

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Reality Check: Not Everything You See Is As It Is…

Something commonly said about me and to me is, “you really have your shit together, and are so confident.” Granted this is a nice compliment and I’m always flattered, but this statement used to fill me with shame.

For my entire life, even as a tween and teen,
I looked like and presented my self like I had it all together. In some ways I was advanced for my age, in terms of career, finances, and my communication skills. The rest of me was a mess, the really important stuff was broken. I had almost no self-worth, I hated my body, I was walking around barely surviving as an untreated severely abused child. My natural survival skills presented the world with an illusion that I was A OK. Meanwhile, I was the walking dead.

I share this part of my story as a lesson, not for sympathy. Also, to let others who are struggling know they are not alone, and there is a different way to live.

My story took me from abuse to abundance. I can now proudly say that I don’t live in the shadows of shame, I stand empowered in the light. When I hear that comment about me having my shit together, instead of thinking, “if they only knew,” I say, “yup some days I do and some days I don’t.” I speak my truth to let people know that no one has their shit together all time, in every area of their lives. Good lord that actually sounds really boring.

So if you catch yourself admiring someone else, while shaming yourself for not being better or “more like them,” remember not everything you see is real, and you truly can’t know someone’s full story just by how they present themselves to the world. That doesn’t mean they’re fake or misleading, they simply could be just surviving in the only way they know how.

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STOP Living for the Weekend!

You know what makes me so damn sad 😞? The countless amount of times I hear people say and write things like, “TGIF,” “Finally Friday,” and the worst, “I live for weekends.” Millions of people are spending 72% of their week, waiting for 28% of it to begin. Therefore, suffering and surviving through most of their lives. THIS IS NOT HOW WE ARE MEANT TO BE ON THIS EARTH.

How about a mindset shift exercise? Why do you so look forward to Friday night? Is it because you hate your job, your commute, school, or are overwhelmed and doing so much that you’ve created the weekends as your only “break?” Whatever it is, get honest with yourself and write it down.

What would your life need to look and feel like for you to look at everyday of the week as though it’s the weekend? Now, for you sarcastic people out there, don’t demean this exercise by saying, “a billion dollars,” or “win the lotto.” You can, and that mentality explains why you hate 72% of your life. An authentic non-defensive answer would be something like, “For me to look at everyday like I do the weekend, I would have a career I love working from home; I would make X amount of money each month doing it, allowing me (and my family) to go on limitless fun outings and vacations.”

Please go into detail, the more the better. Then I want you to go back and rewrite your description in the present tense (as though this is your life right now), preferably in your fav colors and on paper that you can hang somewhere (printer paper or construction paper).

Next step, as you go through your weekend, cut out images (from magazines or print from online) that reflect your above description. Glue or tape those images all around your description. Put this daily life vision board somewhere so you see it many times a day.

This exercise isn’t just about manifesting your Most Exceptional life, it’s also to remind you that it is very achievable, realistic, and possible for you. Even if you don’t 💯 believe that right now, I believe it for you. Extra points if you post your life board and tag me @projectme_with_tiffany💜🙏. Love, Tiffany

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Becoming Yourself

To become your best self, you have to walk away from all that doesn’t serve your greatest good. This process for me was gut-wrenching, painful, liberating, scary, freeing, sad, and intensely empowering.

It had to be done if I wanted to achieve greatness in mind, body, soul, and life! I believe we all truly know deep down who and what we need to detach from, we create resistance around it because taking that action is terrifying. We make excuses for people, “well they aren’t that bad;” we make excuses for a life sucking job or client, “but they pay well.” Bottom line is, if you experience negative feelings from being around that person, place, or thing, it’s highly likely that you need to detach.

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