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Don’t Waste Your Mind!

We all know what wasting money means, but what does wasting your mind mean?

It means, don’t spend mental energy on people, places, things, or situations that don’t serve your greatest good. The more we are distracted in negativity, the less we are able to focus on our goals.

One way I can tell if I’m veering off course is if I feel drained, fatigued, bored, or zombie-like.

For me, that’s a BIG sign that I’m “wasting my mind” on something or someone that doesn’t serve me. Sometimes it’s easy to remove from my life, other times I need to create a plan of action to disconnect. Like if a client isn’t right for me, or if I signed a contract to speak somewhere, that I later realize doesn’t vibe.

So first be aware of what is draining you, then remove it and/or make an action plan to remove it ASAP. After all, “the mind is a terrible thing to waste”.

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Stop Saying This Word!

Can you guess which 5-letter word I feel is both misused and overused by women!

S O R R Y- each time I hear a woman who is going around me at the grocery store (and not even close to touching me-God forbid) say, “oh so sorry,” in a meek, submissive voice, I CRINGE 🤨. When a woman comes up to meet me or ask me a question after I give a speech, and she says, “I’m so sorry to bother you but….” my heart sinks a little.

I now speak back to the women and say, “ no need to be sorry, this is part of my job and I’m here to meet people and answer their questions.” Or if I’m feeling super sassy I say, “ why are you sorry (in a kind way)?” I’ve not ever had one woman be able to answer that question.

Part of why this unnecessary apologizing affects me so much is I used to do it in my personal life all the time. I even apologized when I ran into a chair at my house! No, I’m not kidding. In my professional life, I actually had some self-confidence and respect, but in my personal life, I was that “sorry” girl. I didn’t want to bother, annoy, or interrupt anyone’s life with my needs or even curiosity. My self-worth was so low, I didn’t feel worthy of having my needs met, asking for help, or even a shoulder to cry on.

Fast forward a mere 3 years, and I am no longer that girl. I am an empowered woman who is worthy of others time, attention, money, and love. So if you are that “sorry” person, do your best to catch yourself. You are just as worthy as I am, whether you are rich, poor, depressed, sick, happy, overweight, underweight, a trauma survivor (#metoo)… Instead of saying a weak “sorry,” replace it with an empowered “excuse me” or “pardon me” or better yet NONE OF IT, unless of course, you step on someone’s foot or something.

If you don’t think you are worthy, how can you expect others to see your worth?

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Reality Check: Not Everything You See Is As It Is…

Something commonly said about me and to me is, “you really have your shit together, and are so confident.” Granted this is a nice compliment and I’m always flattered, but this statement used to fill me with shame.

For my entire life, even as a tween and teen,
I looked like and presented my self like I had it all together. In some ways I was advanced for my age, in terms of career, finances, and my communication skills. The rest of me was a mess, the really important stuff was broken. I had almost no self-worth, I hated my body, I was walking around barely surviving as an untreated severely abused child. My natural survival skills presented the world with an illusion that I was A OK. Meanwhile, I was the walking dead.

I share this part of my story as a lesson, not for sympathy. Also, to let others who are struggling know they are not alone, and there is a different way to live.

My story took me from abuse to abundance. I can now proudly say that I don’t live in the shadows of shame, I stand empowered in the light. When I hear that comment about me having my shit together, instead of thinking, “if they only knew,” I say, “yup some days I do and some days I don’t.” I speak my truth to let people know that no one has their shit together all time, in every area of their lives. Good lord that actually sounds really boring.

So if you catch yourself admiring someone else, while shaming yourself for not being better or “more like them,” remember not everything you see is real, and you truly can’t know someone’s full story just by how they present themselves to the world. That doesn’t mean they’re fake or misleading, they simply could be just surviving in the only way they know how.

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STOP Living for the Weekend!

You know what makes me so damn sad 😞? The countless amount of times I hear people say and write things like, “TGIF,” “Finally Friday,” and the worst, “I live for weekends.” Millions of people are spending 72% of their week, waiting for 28% of it to begin. Therefore, suffering and surviving through most of their lives. THIS IS NOT HOW WE ARE MEANT TO BE ON THIS EARTH.

How about a mindset shift exercise? Why do you so look forward to Friday night? Is it because you hate your job, your commute, school, or are overwhelmed and doing so much that you’ve created the weekends as your only “break?” Whatever it is, get honest with yourself and write it down.

What would your life need to look and feel like for you to look at everyday of the week as though it’s the weekend? Now, for you sarcastic people out there, don’t demean this exercise by saying, “a billion dollars,” or “win the lotto.” You can, and that mentality explains why you hate 72% of your life. An authentic non-defensive answer would be something like, “For me to look at everyday like I do the weekend, I would have a career I love working from home; I would make X amount of money each month doing it, allowing me (and my family) to go on limitless fun outings and vacations.”

Please go into detail, the more the better. Then I want you to go back and rewrite your description in the present tense (as though this is your life right now), preferably in your fav colors and on paper that you can hang somewhere (printer paper or construction paper).

Next step, as you go through your weekend, cut out images (from magazines or print from online) that reflect your above description. Glue or tape those images all around your description. Put this daily life vision board somewhere so you see it many times a day.

This exercise isn’t just about manifesting your Most Exceptional life, it’s also to remind you that it is very achievable, realistic, and possible for you. Even if you don’t 💯 believe that right now, I believe it for you. Extra points if you post your life board and tag me @projectme_with_tiffany💜🙏. Love, Tiffany

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Becoming Yourself

To become your best self, you have to walk away from all that doesn’t serve your greatest good. This process for me was gut-wrenching, painful, liberating, scary, freeing, sad, and intensely empowering.

It had to be done if I wanted to achieve greatness in mind, body, soul, and life! I believe we all truly know deep down who and what we need to detach from, we create resistance around it because taking that action is terrifying. We make excuses for people, “well they aren’t that bad;” we make excuses for a life sucking job or client, “but they pay well.” Bottom line is, if you experience negative feelings from being around that person, place, or thing, it’s highly likely that you need to detach.

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3 Steps Towards Developing and Understanding Yourself

To up level our lives, it requires us to take a deep inventory of ourselves; our behaviors, beliefs, habits, character assets, charter challenges, and our actions. This by the way isn’t easy or comfortable, but it is necessary and well worth it.

You can certainly try to reach your next set of goals without doing the inner work, but I guarantee you won’t be happy with the result. I know this because I actively tried to avoid that work for many years, and I couldn’t figure out why I felt stuck and nothing was working. Although I was working my ass off and I was taking massive action and risk, I was a mess, unhappy, and unfulfilled.

When I finally got sick and tired of banging into the same rock wall, I surrendered and asked for help, to dive deeply inside. Doing personal development work each and everyday has taken me from surviving to thriving. I’m a better boss, a better negotiator, a better problem solver, a better friend, fiancé, and an overall better me.

You see if we don’t take the time and actions to learn how we get in our own way, then we can’t get of our own way to grow and achieve bigger, grander, amazing things. WE deserve the best in life and WE are worth doing the work to be our best selves.

Here are some action steps you can take today to get the process going:
1. Suscribe to some personal development podcasts that resonate with you ( mine will be launching here in 2 weeks, ProjectME the Podcast with Tiffany Carter). Just search “personal development podcasts.”

2. Buy a @tonyrobbins book 📖 or listen to books on @audible_com if you prefer. Other great authors I love are @melrobbinslive@iammelwells @brenebrown @jensincero@thechampagnediet @loriharder@louise_hay_affirmations.

3. Write 📝. If you don’t have a cute journal it’s ok. Use what you got, write in your notes app on your phone 📱 during lunch. Whatever writing ritual you create and stick with is what will serve you best. Free write on your biggest fears, insecurities, dreams, feelings and so on. The authors I listed above will prompt with you with questions to write about.

Taking action in developing and understanding yourself is one of the greatest acts of self-love.

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The Reason Why I Avoided Starting ProjectME for SOOO Long

You guys may think I’m CRAZY, but I have to share my truth. I avoided starting ProjectME because of the personal branding necessary to have professional photoshoots. MY LORD was I terrified. This shot was towards the end of the day so I was a bit more comfortable, but still not allowing my self to enjoy it. I was too caught up in being worried that I look puffy or have rolls. I’m in recovery for exercise addiction, so having my picture taken is clearly still a huge trigger for me.

I knew I had to think bigger and remember I’m building this brand to empower and educate women to be financially free and independently wealthy. If people are focused on my body versus my message and teachings, then they have deeper issues to resolve.

I kept saying all during the shoot that I’m so comfortable in video and audio, but the still photography makes me feel so vulnerable and exposed. AAAAAAAH I can scream now recalling how I felt that day.

The lesson here is I didn’t allow borderline crippling anxiety to squash my vision. It took me months to do it, BUT I DID IT! I did it anyway and so can you. Whatever is stopping you from going after your dreams, there is really no way around it, you just have to do it anyway. Plus I hired a kick-ass empowered female team to support me through my vulnerable moments, and help me get out of that damn head of mine.

Thank you to my kick-ass photographer and successful entrepreneur Randi @bossbabephotography, my on-site glam Joanna from @cheektocheekartistry, my dynamic hair duo @alizalauren (color master) and @brittneyhodgins_hair(extensions guru). You ladies helped me get through one of my biggest fears, I’m so so grateful 🙏💜.

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Fuck Hustling and Honor Yourself

How many of you can relate to this beautiful drawing? Sometimes we can get so caught up in building our business and our dream life, that we forget to look at what’s going on around us. Guilty as charged.

I used to believe that the more I worked the faster I would accumulate wealth. Therefore, I would work head down for 12-14 hours a day 6 or 7 days a week. You know what that got me? A happy bank account and an unhappy Tiffany.

After 7 years of this, I thought, “there must be a better way, an easier way.” So I did an experiment. I worked until my body and brain said it needed a break and then I took one. I asked my self what I needed, what would feel good and nurturing right now. Sometimes I took a walk, played with my dogs, called a girlfriend, watched reality TV (my guilty pleasure), took a nap, a yoga class, or just sat in silence. The results of this year long experiment were incredible.

My bank account was just as happy as before, and I became a lighter, softer, kinder, happier, relaxed version of my self. I never knew this person existed inside of me. I was always so intense. Now I find those people annoying, although I have great compassion for them.

The belief that we need to grind away to achieve success is 💩 💩. Working smart is necessary, but slaving away work is not. Tiffany 2.0 attracts inspiring opportunities and I find great solutions to challenges, since I’m able to be more clear-minded and creative. My writing ✍️ has a more relatable intimate tone, as I’ve become more loving towards my self.

Fuck hustling and honor yourself and your needs above all else, the rest will fall into place. You will have much more energy to achieve your goals, and have a lot more fun along the way.

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Celebrating the WINS!

Nothing feels better to me than chillin’ on warm white sand, looking out at crystal blue waters, in a fun foreign country. I went to Belize 🇧🇿 about 2 years ago to celebrate my mega personal development transformation. My entire life as I knew came crashing down, forcing me to figure my shit out and shine or slump into victim mode and sink.
☀️
I chose the harder path, TO SHINE. It took a full year of stripping my self raw to my soul, for me to start seeing and feeling the huge life shattering transformation I made. This self work is not for everyone, in fact most people quit when the discomfort of facing our feelings and insecurities goes on too long.
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The gifts that come from doing the work and taking massive action, feel like mini miracles happening all around you. If you feel stuck or miserable in your life, do the work. You deserve to shine, and the best version of you is worth working for.

☀️So Belize, thank you for celebrating with me. You will always hold a special place in my heart. For it was the first time in my life I truly celebrated me and my achievements. 💜, Tiffany

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Handling Stress & Overwhelm

Feeling overwhelmed lately? Feel like you have more things to do than there is time to do it? YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Getting and staying in a place of overwhelm will end up leading to paralysis, which only increases anxiety, fear, and fatigue. Over the last 10 years of starting and running my first company, I developed and refined some techniques to overcome overwhelm. If I didn’t find a better way, I would have stayed stuck and sabotaged my success.

My first go to Overcome Overwhelm technique is to shut everything down and off. No laptop, no phone, no music, no TV, no sneaky multitasking. If you work from a home office as I do, tell anyone else in your home to zip it for a bit, employees included (my team is mostly introverted techies, so my workspace stays zen). If you work in an office setting go somewhere away from people, empty conference room, your car, bathroom stall (yes I’ve done this more than once). Breakout your journal or a clean notepad,📝 take a deep breath and ask yourself “(insert name) what do you need right now? No limitations.” Whatever your answer is, promise yourself that will honor that need. You may need a nap but you can’t exactly take one at work, so you honor your need by canceling any evening plans and drive straight home for an early relaxing night. My point is, you may not be able to fulfill that request at this moment, but you can still honor it by making a clean plan to honor it ASAP. By honoring your need, you are honoring yourself above all else.

Part 2: On a new piece of paper titled “Great Stuff,” “Smart Shit” or some other positive fun way to say “to do list,” list your absolute have-tos for today. Things with deadlines or high consequences only. Then on another sheet, do the same have-tos for tomorrow. You can keep going until you have everything listed that’s in your high-achieving brain. I tend to only do 2 days at a time, as that’s more than enough for me to digest. Plus, these lists shouldn’t be long, as they are have-tos.

The technique here is to make these lists achievable and manageable. So that you can actually cross each thing off for the day, and feel a sense of relief and accomplishment.

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