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3 Steps Towards Developing and Understanding Yourself

To up level our lives, it requires us to take a deep inventory of ourselves; our behaviors, beliefs, habits, character assets, charter challenges, and our actions. This by the way isn’t easy or comfortable, but it is necessary and well worth it.

You can certainly try to reach your next set of goals without doing the inner work, but I guarantee you won’t be happy with the result. I know this because I actively tried to avoid that work for many years, and I couldn’t figure out why I felt stuck and nothing was working. Although I was working my ass off and I was taking massive action and risk, I was a mess, unhappy, and unfulfilled.

When I finally got sick and tired of banging into the same rock wall, I surrendered and asked for help, to dive deeply inside. Doing personal development work each and everyday has taken me from surviving to thriving. I’m a better boss, a better negotiator, a better problem solver, a better friend, fiancé, and an overall better me.

You see if we don’t take the time and actions to learn how we get in our own way, then we can’t get of our own way to grow and achieve bigger, grander, amazing things. WE deserve the best in life and WE are worth doing the work to be our best selves.

Here are some action steps you can take today to get the process going:
1. Suscribe to some personal development podcasts that resonate with you ( mine will be launching here in 2 weeks, ProjectME the Podcast with Tiffany Carter). Just search “personal development podcasts.”

2. Buy a @tonyrobbins book 📖 or listen to books on @audible_com if you prefer. Other great authors I love are @melrobbinslive@iammelwells @brenebrown @jensincero@thechampagnediet @loriharder@louise_hay_affirmations.

3. Write 📝. If you don’t have a cute journal it’s ok. Use what you got, write in your notes app on your phone 📱 during lunch. Whatever writing ritual you create and stick with is what will serve you best. Free write on your biggest fears, insecurities, dreams, feelings and so on. The authors I listed above will prompt with you with questions to write about.

Taking action in developing and understanding yourself is one of the greatest acts of self-love.

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The Reason Why I Avoided Starting ProjectME for SOOO Long

You guys may think I’m CRAZY, but I have to share my truth. I avoided starting ProjectME because of the personal branding necessary to have professional photoshoots. MY LORD was I terrified. This shot was towards the end of the day so I was a bit more comfortable, but still not allowing my self to enjoy it. I was too caught up in being worried that I look puffy or have rolls. I’m in recovery for exercise addiction, so having my picture taken is clearly still a huge trigger for me.

I knew I had to think bigger and remember I’m building this brand to empower and educate women to be financially free and independently wealthy. If people are focused on my body versus my message and teachings, then they have deeper issues to resolve.

I kept saying all during the shoot that I’m so comfortable in video and audio, but the still photography makes me feel so vulnerable and exposed. AAAAAAAH I can scream now recalling how I felt that day.

The lesson here is I didn’t allow borderline crippling anxiety to squash my vision. It took me months to do it, BUT I DID IT! I did it anyway and so can you. Whatever is stopping you from going after your dreams, there is really no way around it, you just have to do it anyway. Plus I hired a kick-ass empowered female team to support me through my vulnerable moments, and help me get out of that damn head of mine.

Thank you to my kick-ass photographer and successful entrepreneur Randi @bossbabephotography, my on-site glam Joanna from @cheektocheekartistry, my dynamic hair duo @alizalauren (color master) and @brittneyhodgins_hair(extensions guru). You ladies helped me get through one of my biggest fears, I’m so so grateful 🙏💜.

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Fuck Hustling and Honor Yourself

How many of you can relate to this beautiful drawing? Sometimes we can get so caught up in building our business and our dream life, that we forget to look at what’s going on around us. Guilty as charged.

I used to believe that the more I worked the faster I would accumulate wealth. Therefore, I would work head down for 12-14 hours a day 6 or 7 days a week. You know what that got me? A happy bank account and an unhappy Tiffany.

After 7 years of this, I thought, “there must be a better way, an easier way.” So I did an experiment. I worked until my body and brain said it needed a break and then I took one. I asked my self what I needed, what would feel good and nurturing right now. Sometimes I took a walk, played with my dogs, called a girlfriend, watched reality TV (my guilty pleasure), took a nap, a yoga class, or just sat in silence. The results of this year long experiment were incredible.

My bank account was just as happy as before, and I became a lighter, softer, kinder, happier, relaxed version of my self. I never knew this person existed inside of me. I was always so intense. Now I find those people annoying, although I have great compassion for them.

The belief that we need to grind away to achieve success is 💩 💩. Working smart is necessary, but slaving away work is not. Tiffany 2.0 attracts inspiring opportunities and I find great solutions to challenges, since I’m able to be more clear-minded and creative. My writing ✍️ has a more relatable intimate tone, as I’ve become more loving towards my self.

Fuck hustling and honor yourself and your needs above all else, the rest will fall into place. You will have much more energy to achieve your goals, and have a lot more fun along the way.

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Celebrating the WINS!

Nothing feels better to me than chillin’ on warm white sand, looking out at crystal blue waters, in a fun foreign country. I went to Belize 🇧🇿 about 2 years ago to celebrate my mega personal development transformation. My entire life as I knew came crashing down, forcing me to figure my shit out and shine or slump into victim mode and sink.
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I chose the harder path, TO SHINE. It took a full year of stripping my self raw to my soul, for me to start seeing and feeling the huge life shattering transformation I made. This self work is not for everyone, in fact most people quit when the discomfort of facing our feelings and insecurities goes on too long.
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The gifts that come from doing the work and taking massive action, feel like mini miracles happening all around you. If you feel stuck or miserable in your life, do the work. You deserve to shine, and the best version of you is worth working for.

☀️So Belize, thank you for celebrating with me. You will always hold a special place in my heart. For it was the first time in my life I truly celebrated me and my achievements. 💜, Tiffany

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Handling Stress & Overwhelm

Feeling overwhelmed lately? Feel like you have more things to do than there is time to do it? YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Getting and staying in a place of overwhelm will end up leading to paralysis, which only increases anxiety, fear, and fatigue. Over the last 10 years of starting and running my first company, I developed and refined some techniques to overcome overwhelm. If I didn’t find a better way, I would have stayed stuck and sabotaged my success.

My first go to Overcome Overwhelm technique is to shut everything down and off. No laptop, no phone, no music, no TV, no sneaky multitasking. If you work from a home office as I do, tell anyone else in your home to zip it for a bit, employees included (my team is mostly introverted techies, so my workspace stays zen). If you work in an office setting go somewhere away from people, empty conference room, your car, bathroom stall (yes I’ve done this more than once). Breakout your journal or a clean notepad,📝 take a deep breath and ask yourself “(insert name) what do you need right now? No limitations.” Whatever your answer is, promise yourself that will honor that need. You may need a nap but you can’t exactly take one at work, so you honor your need by canceling any evening plans and drive straight home for an early relaxing night. My point is, you may not be able to fulfill that request at this moment, but you can still honor it by making a clean plan to honor it ASAP. By honoring your need, you are honoring yourself above all else.

Part 2: On a new piece of paper titled “Great Stuff,” “Smart Shit” or some other positive fun way to say “to do list,” list your absolute have-tos for today. Things with deadlines or high consequences only. Then on another sheet, do the same have-tos for tomorrow. You can keep going until you have everything listed that’s in your high-achieving brain. I tend to only do 2 days at a time, as that’s more than enough for me to digest. Plus, these lists shouldn’t be long, as they are have-tos.

The technique here is to make these lists achievable and manageable. So that you can actually cross each thing off for the day, and feel a sense of relief and accomplishment.

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If this is your current mood…

Some days we will feel off, grouchy, depressed, uninspired, and downright bitchy. If you feel how my bulldog Molly looks today 😞

#1 give yourself permission to feel how you are feeling without judgment.

#2 Get quiet and still for a few minutes and lovingly ask yourself what it is you need right now? Allow the answer to come up and honor it without judgment. For me, I got sick almost a week ago, and I’m still not completely recovered, which is frustrating AF to me and my entrepreneur life. Since I never will suggest you do something that I haven’t done or do, I asked my self that question. The answer I received was patience, nurturing, and to go extra slow.
#3 Trying to figure out why you are having an off week or day is a waste of energy unless it’s a pattern you are seeing with yourself. As humans, we aren’t designed to always be happy, vibrant, motivated, inspired, and healthy (despite what people post on social)…our moods and energy levels fluctuate just as the hormones do inside our bodies.

💜, Tiffany

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You were born to be real, not to be perfect!

Somewhere along the way, many of us developed the false belief that we have to be perfect, that we aren’t good enough just as we are. It’s a belief that kept me trapped for most of my life. I kept overachieving, dieting, exercising, doing, to the point of exhaustion, trying to achieve the unachievable, PERFECTION.

Of course I never achieved it and I nearly killed my self trying (that’s not an exaggeration…you will hear more of my insane story once my podcast launches). Now I’ve accepted that I’m a human being, not a human doing, and all I can do is my best. Accepting our humanness is to accept our quirks, our flaws, our physical limitations, our bodies while shining a big beautiful light on all the gifts we have to offer the world.

I’m I “perfect” at doing this acceptance thing every day? HELL NO. But I’m 1000000 times better, happier, calmer than I use to be. Truly that’s all I can ask for is progress, not perfection. 💜, Tiffany

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Stay Weird

Aren’t you tired of seeing the same posts, people selling the same thing, people looking the same? It’s so refreshing when I meet someone virtually or in person that owns their magical, unique, weird, awkward selves, insecurities and all.

BUT it takes vulnerability and bravery to embrace our own weird selves, and put it out to the world. Some people can do it out of the womb, some can never do it, and the rest of us do it on our own time in our own way.

Stay weird, be weird, embrace your weird. It’s what will draw the right people to you, and incredible opportunities into your life. If you do the same shit as others in your field, you won’t stand out and therefor won’t make BIG money. I played it safe for many years, NO MORE! I got bored of my own damn corporate self. Being me flaws and all, good days, bad days, in between days, I come as me and it feels SO DAMN GOOD.

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Learning to Day Dream Again…

When was the last time you day dreamed ✨? When you just allowed your mind to drift off for however long.

Most of us were kids the last time we drifted off into glorious, exciting, luscious thoughts 💭 of our deepest desires.

What did you day dream of when you were a kid? Did you ever manifest anything from those dreams?

While you drift off to sleep tonight, allow yourself to dream of a world where anything is possible. You can have and do anything you want without a catch. I promise you there’s a message from your inner child in those free thoughts, a message that badly needs to be heard.

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The Soul Always Knows What to do to Heal Itself.

Being sick 😷 sucks! Being sick as a passionate driven entrepreneur is frustrating, disappointing, and inconvenient AF 🤬.

Do you guys get yet that I’m sick?! 😉

A dear friend of mine reminded me today that I’m human and humans get sick. So I’m here to pass on her wisdom. Whether you have the flu 🤧, are grieving a loss, or are just having an off week….it’s ok, you are human, and this shit happens to humans.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our work, passions, and daily life that our soul has to scream at us to take a break. For me that scream usually comes in the form of me getting sick, which rarely happens anymore 🙏.

So my fellow humans, let’s collectively take a deep breath and give ourselves a break. After all, we are only human.

💜, Tiffany

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